Moose-Heffer 

A person (male or female) that often has cankles, is either grossly overweight (we're talking ripples and folds upon folds here) or are just really ugly and can't walk properly up stairs because,
1. They are grossly overweight and...
2. They don't know how to walk up stairs without stomping and making the apartment block shudder while doing so.

Generally, Moose-Heffers are lovely people.

Have you seen her? What a Moose-Heffer?
or
Oh God, it's Moose-Heffer. Brace yourself for the shuddering as she stomps up the stairs on her stumpy cankles

Moose-Heffer by Simon Whiteside February 1, 2005