The
Midnight Express is a descriptive term to describe the act of taking a late
night bowel movement that is coupled with a raunchy smelling odor that slowly seeps outwards from the bathroom and typically results in waking up all occupants of a household.
The Midnight Express though rare, typically originates from a steady diet of junk food, taco
bell, and other bowel stimulating foods. Such foods by themselves are relatively harmless however under
special circumstances these foods will cascade together in an order that creates a harden plug with a toxic gaseous liquid behind it.
Once such circumstances exist, typically the “Train Driver” -the
person who performs the midnight express- will experience “whistle blowing” –also called flatulence- ranging from one to three days until the plug reaches the end of its
journey, which in the
case of the midnight express will be between the hours of 11pm to 3am. This critical point is also referred to as the “
train leaving the station” or the “All Aboard Call”.
Sometimes this All aboard Call is mistaken by the Train Driver as just another Whistle Blow which to there surprise results in either a mad dash to the bathroom or squashing allover themselves rather than the nice
casual stroll. This loud trotting sound only adds effect to the Midnight Express imagery and the wet Whistle Blow is the tail-tail sign that the Midnight express is about to roll thru.
I was peacefully dreaming until my roommate took a
midnight express which
woke me up and left me gasping for air.
After I took a midnight express it took
5 days to get the smell out of the house.
