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Mid-life Douche 

A sub-species of douche between the ages of 30-45, usually divorced. While this particular douche may have once been a decent human being, the onset of a Mid-life Crisis leads to increasingly douchey behavior and eventually, the transformation into a total douche. The Mid-life Crisis Douche will often begin drinking excessively and/or doing a large quantity of illegal drugs and will sleep with or attempt to sleep with much younger women in order to recapture his youth. He will also become obsessed with the gym and will begin buying expensive, tight fitting clothing to show off his "new physique." He will also have an increasing need to be the center of attention; especially when intoxicated. He often uses humor to gain the attention of those around him, and he often resorts to making jokes at the expense of others to distract himself from his own crippling insecurities. The Mid-life Douche can be spotted in clubs dancing awkwardly next to much younger girls, or in a local bar drinking excessively, laughing at his own jokes, or telling stories of his "conquests." This is a degenerative condition. Once someone begins the slide into Mid-life douchebaggery, it is only a matter of time before they morph into a full blown douchebag.
Man, ever since Sean hit 35 he's started to become a Mid-life douche!
Mid-life Douche by doucheh8er June 11, 2011
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Mid life douche crisis 

Mid 30s white suburban parents who try to act like 20 year old bros
Signs include but not limited to:

American Fighter/affliction or some bullshit shirt about how they’re so offensive and don’t care, obviousLy on roids, overly tan, usually talks about the going to the lake all the time. Exorbitant amount of overpriced product stickers (RTIC, Yeti, Malibu boats and a punisher logo for some reason) on his lifted Jeep with no doors or jacked up F250 and off roading consists of median hopping to avoid suburb traffic jams. Dresses kids in expensive athletic gear (compression pants under basketball shorts) like they are pro’s when little billy’s jump shot sucks and daddy is in denial. Overuse of “bro”, your 38 years old Tom, stop saying that. Miserable behind closed doors

*Exorbitant amount of credit card debt to keep up the appearance of the good life

Their kids are spoiled little fuckboys who think they are special but are just like every other twat waffle in town.

I live around these societal crotchstains and I hate it. Cypress, TX has some good people in it, it’s the asshats who think that because they’re family sits in the front row at church and rubs elbows with the pastor, it makes them part of the “in crowd” People don’t envy your family, it’s annoying and sad. Have some substance in your life and stop being a shallow pool of cloudy douche water.
I feel bad for him, his parents are going through a mid life douche crisis so they don’t pay attention to him.

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area
Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...
Word of the Day on July 20, 2026

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026