Melon Simpitis 

Melon Simpitis is defined as a psychological disorder, that is in every male, but sometimes controlled by some, that plagues all males, whenever a girl approaches, they become extreme simps. This happens and is not limited to Discord, IG, Snapchat, Facebook, or even real life.

Kind of like veelas from Harry Potter, or Sirens from Greek Mythology, but this is very real.

Symptoms (Hah, simptoms):
- People suddenly act polite, offer to send money/buy things for her
- They want to marry her (using the MarriageBot in Discord)

- They want to write about her 'bodily functions' :/ -- These are literal symptoms, not exaggerations
- They want to change their profile to match hers
- They want to charm her and show her that they have good jokes

- They defend her whenever she is even slightly thrown a joke at.
- They wanna be her slave
- They want her. -- This is the last simp stage. At this point the people are dangerous. People like Alinity or Pokimane have such men (they gladly profit from them too)

A Coincidence?

40% of all Melons have cat profile pictures.

A Random Melon: Hi
Felix: Heyyy, how's it going?
Melon: Great, how about you?
Belarus: Omg i wanna write about your period, yes.
Melon: what the fuck, no i don't want yo--
Felix: omg yesssssssssssss
Nikolai: I wanna be you, send pfp link
Kass: Check out my Hoxha bunkers 😏
Melon: Guys stop pls this is weird
Skrab: Yeah guys! She doesn't like it! She only likes it from me
Melon: DUDE. I DON-
Matias: I wanna be your slave
All aforementioned people: I'll buy you nitro if you marry me
Melon's Husband: Wtf? Immoral, how dare you all? Where are your ethics?
Melon: I wanna die. I hate Melon Simpitis.
Spoop: I made a fanfic of you.

Melon Simpitis by Paki, Gen. of Pakistan November 7, 2020