A recently discovered mental disorder with no known cure. Patients have been shown to demonstrate unusual behaviors such has:
1. Getting stuck in somewhere you shouldn't get stuck in (like
Mars, a planet in another universe or Nazi territory)
2. Make others risk their lives to save you
3. Tricking others to risk their lives to save you
3. Amnesia
4. Tendency to
beat others to death with peculiar objects (eg. Magazines)
5. Having unusually high levels of intelligence
6. Have an unusual tendency to
kill Nazis
7. Being exceptionally
stubborn
8. Fighting against authoritarian governments
9. Planning elaborate heists
10. Only being able to say your own name
Researchers have not agreed on a single explanation to how it spreads or what causes it, but they have identified several key symptoms. The first patient to be diagnosed with this disorder is Matt Damon.
You
may be have Matt Damon Syndrome if you:
1. Lost all your brothers
2. Survived assassination attempt
3. Are an astronaut
4. Your
wife is dead
5. Are a horse
6. Are a
cowboy
7. Look like Matt Damon
If know someone who displays the above symptoms, call a psychiatrist immediately.
This message has been brought to you by the World National Matt Damon Syndrome Awareness Medical Funding Organization. Donations in
cash,
check, pay pal, credit card, wire or sexual favors accepted.
Matt's agent: Recently, Matt's been acting strangely. After his
wife was killed by the
government, he robbed a Casino by pretending he was a janitor. He then used the
money to buy a spaceship with a wisecracking
robot to fly to
Mars. Then he started beating Martian Nazis to death with a magazine shouting "MATT DAMON!" We had to send Tom Hanks to save him, but he only agreed to come home on the condition
Tom would dress up as a
cowboy and rode him back to the spaceship. But the airlock exploded and he now has Amnesia. By the way, you look like Robin Williams."
Matt's shrink: "Thanks. Well, it seems that Matt suffers from a serious
case of "Matt Damon Syndrome". "
Matt's agent: " Oh my
god! Come to think of it, he does look kind of like Matt Damon! I wouldn't have known if the WNMDSAMFO didn't tell me about it!"
Matt Damon: "
Hi. I'm Matt Damon. You might think Matt Damon Syndrome is a ridiculous disorder. However,it is, unfortunately, a very real disease and over 6 billion children are suffering from it. Since Matt Damon was diagnosed with this disease in 1679, the WNMDSAMFO was founded in 1682 by Matt Damon, aiming to raise awareness and reduce the suffering of those diagnosed with the disorder. If you want to make a difference for those with the disorder, donate to us now. Your philanthropy
will be much appreciated by those with the disease. That's 7 billion children. So donate now. This is Matt Damon, over and out."
This message has been brought to you by the WNMDSAMFO.
