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1. Demolition Derby maneuver in which two contestants working in tandem crash into an opponent simultaneously from opposite sides, thereby creating the effect of a trash compactor. Coined in an episode of Happy Days, when the Malachi Brothers execute this maneuver on Pinky Tuscadero's car at the climax of the demolition derby. Pinky survived.

2. Any wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.

3. Lascivious maneuver in which a female with ample bosom attacks a passed-out concert-goer with said bosoms, placed on either side of said concert-goers head, and subsequently crushing that head.
"Jen gave John a Malachi Crunch after he passed out in his seat at the Rush concert."
by JizzleDizzle September 06, 2007
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Aug 8 Word of the Day
A method of guessing on a multiple choice test that involves looking at the position of the second hand. If the hand is between 12 and 3 the guess is A. If the hand is between 3 and 6 the guess is B. Between 6 and 9 guess C. Between 9 and 12 guess D.
I passed my test! Thanks to the Clock Method
by ET4444 November 12, 2007
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2
A wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.
"Oh my god, did you hear?! Paulyo was on his vespa riding between two cars on Pine St when he was full on Malachi Crunch(ed). He survived -- his bike's mirrors, not so much!"
by PookieBear123 November 16, 2018
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3
Whe a mans head gets in between 2 vaginas and they smash against his head til they both cum
Justin got Malachi Crunched by Melissa and Naomi.
by Justin Urmouth December 28, 2018
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