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1. Demolition Derby maneuver in which two contestants working in tandem crash into an opponent simultaneously from opposite sides, thereby creating the effect of a trash compactor. Coined in an episode of Happy Days, when the Malachi Brothers execute this maneuver on Pinky Tuscadero's car at the climax of the demolition derby. Pinky survived.

2. Any wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.

3. Lascivious maneuver in which a female with ample bosom attacks a passed-out concert-goer with said bosoms, placed on either side of said concert-goers head, and subsequently crushing that head.
"Jen gave John a Malachi Crunch after he passed out in his seat at the Rush concert."
by JizzleDizzle September 06, 2007
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May 11 Word of the Day
A euphemism for β€œkill me” now that composting oneself after one’s death has become popular.
All right, why don’t you just compost me?
by Dr Bunnygirl March 22, 2020
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2
A wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.
"Oh my god, did you hear?! Paulyo was on his vespa riding between two cars on Pine St when he was full on Malachi Crunch(ed). He survived -- his bike's mirrors, not so much!"
by PookieBear123 November 16, 2018
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3
Whe a mans head gets in between 2 vaginas and they smash against his head til they both cum
Justin got Malachi Crunched by Melissa and Naomi.
by Justin Urmouth December 28, 2018
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