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Lung Cancer

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make.
Person: *Opens na noor* do you have lung cancer?
Walter: My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make.

Lung-cancer-omatic 

A machine that moves cigarettes:cigars from side to side of your moth while closing your nose as you never stop inhaling smoke. Form of execution.
Our state doesn’t do lethal injections, but we do Lung-Cancer-omatic.

That’s even worse

Tibetian Lung Cancer  

A disease that is easy to recover from, but tends to have lasting side effects. Some of the negative effects of TLC can include a painfully large inflation of the ego (which can be cured by large doses of humility). Also, TLC tends to cause allergies to losing. (which can result in anaphylaxis)
Sally: *coughcoughEGOcoughcough*
Bob: My ego is hereditary.
Sally: No, I think you've just survived Tibetian Lung Cancer !!

anal lung cancer 

A disease affecting the anal lung canals, caused by someone sucking up to you too much
Wow man, your '85 Chevy Citation is the nicest car on the block! Do you think you could lend me 10 dawlers?
Quite blowing smoke up my ass, you're gonna give me anal lung cancer

cotton candy flavored lung cancer 

Joe how's that cotton candy flavored lung cancer?
Man this pod is so fucking good man, want a hit?
nah lung cancer ain't for me bro

Pubic lung cancer

When you roll someone's pubes up in a cigarette, blow the smoke into an aerosol can and use it as deodorant.
"My mate got pubic lung cancer, he smells like balls."