Skip to main content

Lord Baltimore 

A Lord Baltimore is something that happens to your car when you leave it parked in Baltimore. The act invloves someone breaking into your vehicle for the purpose of taking a gruesome shit inside of it. The shit is usually atypical and has either massive coiler or extreme diarrhea properties. The classic Lord Baltimore has the perpetrator taking a shit on one side of your back seat and then using the other side as a place to wipe his ass. The use of the seat itself as toilet paper can be traced to the fact that no one can leave anything of value in a vehicle street-parked in Baltimore due to theft concerns. Note that sometimes the one who performs the Lord Baltimore will use the quiet seclusion of your parked car to inject needle drugs, typically heroin, and will leave his dirty works along with the shit and broken glass in your backseat. The totally unique feature of the Lord Baltimore is that no valuables inside of your car will be removed. No one has ever been arrested for doing a Lord Baltimore although it seems to happen quite frequently, particularly during the winter months. The history of the Lord Baltimore can be traced to Cecilius Calvert himself taking a terrific shit in a carriage that belonged to Oliver Cromwell. Proud Baltimoreans consider being Lord Baltimored one of the best things about their city, and routinely mention the custom's importance in shaping the modern city's identity.
I'm really glad the person who Lord Baltimored us last night didn't take our GPS.

Every time we get Lord Baltimored it makes me sad for those loser suburbanites who don't get all the benefits of living in this cool city.

When I checked the CarFax report it said your Prius was Lord Baltimored twice in 2008.

I got Lord Baltimored last night and I didn't get a chance to clean it up before picking you guys up. Pardon the mess back there. Just push it to the side.
Lord Baltimore by Cecilius Calvert November 27, 2011
Lord Baltimore mug front
Get the Lord Baltimore mug.
See more merch
well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!
Them future folk took ouare jerbs!
jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005
Word of the Day on May 22, 2026
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020
Word of the Day on May 21, 2026

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019
Word of the Day on May 20, 2026

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022
Word of the Day on May 19, 2026

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004
Word of the Day on May 18, 2026

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008
Word of the Day on May 16, 2026