Litigator

Legendary Internet warrior/warrior technique, who's origins date back to the turn of the second millennium. The Litigator technique combines traditional methods of offense and defense such as the use of italics, bold font, underlining and font size. A master of the technique will infuse use of misdirection, vague humor, diversion, "the flip", misaccusations, misquotations, confusion, and truths turned falsehoods. To engage in Internet battle with Marsad can be extreme or mild. Should a battle continue more than a week, Litigator will employ the final and most discplined method of outwording an opponent.

Warrior One: Golf is more difficult than fishing

Litgator Warrior: Golf is is similar to racing, with the golf player being the driver and the clubs being the engine. With that, it is nearly impossible to construe golf and fishing are anything alike, except that fishing and golf both take patience and skill, and both hobbies are expensive which make them similar. Professionales exist and compete in both sports, as well as amateurs, yet racing and fishing as you said, are very different with increasing similarities after close examination.

Warrior One: That's not what I said.

Litigator Warrior: That is exactly (bolded, intalicized & underlined) what you said.

by goatworthy July 16, 2010

ASSWIPE Litigation

Legal Term. Bullshitting your way through litigation.

(A)sserting
(S)tupid
(S)hit
(W)hile
(I)ntentionally
(P)ussyfooting
(E)Evidence

Knowing he would lose the case on the facts, Cornelius was forced to employ ASSWIPE litigation tactics.

by Melissa Lynne January 18, 2008

cock litigation

The act of two, or more, rival male suitors attempting to convince a would be companion of their sexual superiority and why they should be selected for a sexual encounter.

After three hours of heated barroom cock litigation, and despite the testimony of several eyewitnesses, David failed to make a persuasive case and Sheila decided to go home with Walter.

by Lamont Walker May 12, 2016

Apparition Litigation

For those individuals supranaturally inclined, a proposal that would allow 'spirit' or 'ghost' testimony--verbal, written or gesture, as legitimate court evidence and admissible for legal proceedings. Attestation provided by creatures such as pixies, genies, fairies, mermaids, leprechauns, centaurs, chimeras, imps, ghouls, gnomes, trolls, hippogriffs, basalisks, dragons and/or werewolves, among others, are patently disallowed due to their imaginary or mythological status.

Prosecution: Mrs. Jones is on trial for the murder of her husband. Forensic evidence will show that she struck him on the back of the head with a large iron skillet. Testimony from our medical expert will show that the blow crushed his skull and fragments of bone severed large arteries supplying his brain. Furthermore, we have an eye-witness to the events as provided by the account of Elder Price, a Mormon evangelist who had just rung the residence door-bell.

Defense: Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury--Mrs. Jones is completely innocent of this heinous crime. As our evidence is presented, you will see that it was Mrs. Kristienz, the DECEASED Ex-wife of Mr. Jones, who is responsible for his murder...we call Mrs. Kristianz to the stand!

Bailiff: Mrs. Kristianz, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Mrs. Kristianz?

Judge: Mrs. Kristianz, do you realize that you must answer the question, gesture or provide a written response? Mrs. Kristianz? Apparition Litigation in continuance until further notice...

by YAWA May 13, 2019

litigatrix

A feisty and dominant female litigator, preferably hot. This portmanteau of litigator and dominatrix was coined by David Lat of AboveTheLaw.com.

M. Julius Worthington, III: Have you met opposing counsel?
Niles Frankfurter Kensington: Mmmmrrrrrowwwrrr! What a litigatrix!

by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson November 4, 2007

litigation

To sue for damages, seeking compensation for the slightest violation of rights. Often this involves the prosecution not having common sense. See nanny state, political correctness, idiot.

Suing a cigarette company because you got cancer, which may have been caused by the smokes. Because there was no clear warning, despite it being well known they are dangerous to health(documentation dates to world war I), the prosecution claims she was not aware and sues for billions of dollars.

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 26, 2004

Litigation

What 99.9% of today's modern hip hop and R&B singers find themselves tied up in

This just in, rapper Lil Boosie finds himself in litigation again after punching out a fan at one of his concerts

by Metallicajunkie October 24, 2018