Lava Shits

A serious fecal disorder. Usually happens to people after eating Mexican Cuisine. Using too much hot sauce, or holding in your shit all day.

When you have lava shits, you may experience some or all of the following:

1. A bad stomach ache.
2. Having chunky, liquid poop.
3. Said poop burns your asshole.
4. It all comes out at once, or takes forever.
5. It goes on all day.

Say you're on the phone with somebody you know. For the sake of argument, we'll call Girl A 'Melissa' and Boy A 'John'.

John: Melissa, are you there?
-----no response from Melissa------
John: Melissa?! ANSWER ME PLEASE! I AM GOING TO DIE!
-----still no response-----
--gunshots--
John killed himself, because he thought Melissa was ignoring him. When in reality, she had the lava shits and laid the phone down. John's life could have been saved, if Melissa wasn't so ashamed of having lava shit and just told him about it.

Moral of story: When you have lava shits, tell everyone.

by Trace the Master March 4, 2009

Shitting lava

Highly acidic diarrhea resulting from spicy food or stomach upset.

GAAAWD, I am shitting lava after the Burrito buffet!

by I, Wreckerrr November 11, 2016

Lava shits

When your fecial material comes out as a liquid instead of solid, and leaves your anus hole burning so bad that you just wanna cut it off with your pocket knife. This sensation feels like you just dipped your prolapsed ass hole in hot lava. You will soon wish you didn't eat that jalapeno mac and cheese burger about 10 minutes ago.

Gene: holy christ, call the fire department! Carter has the lava shits!

by Dirty Antwan October 29, 2025