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jackoff all trades 

An individual claiming proficiency for every task presenting itself, anywhere. He is neither schooled nor proficient beyond the ability to claim such.

An individual whose continued claims at ability are immediately discounted upon attempt.
"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's an divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."
jackoff all trades by 3sqzper January 5, 2009
Urban Dictionary Merch

Jackoff all trades 

An individual claiming proficiency for every task presenting itself, anywhere. He is neither schooled nor proficient beyond the ability to claim such.

An individual whose continued claims at ability are immediately discounted upon attempt.

A play on "Jack of all trades, master of none."
"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's a divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."
Jackoff all trades by 3sqzper July 21, 2008

Jackoff of all trades 

Somebody who believes that they can multitask, but in attempting many different endeavors, fails at all or most of them. A failed polymath. An incompetent, wannabe rennaissance man.
"Dude thinks he's the jack of all trades. He screwed up the math on the cash register, he can't speak spanish for shit, and after he tried to tune up my car, I had to take it in and spend $200 bucks before it would start again. He's the jackoff of all trades."

Jack off all trades 

A dilettante with tools; someone who thinks they can fix lots of things, but actually hacks the job. A homeowner who tries to handle all aspects of home repair, but has no skills.

Also used as a verb.
Noun: Bob really spends a lot of time on projects, but nothing works. He's a Jack off all trades.

Verb: I just like buy all the best tools, but really I just jack off all trades.
Jack off all trades by clayshingle February 13, 2010

Jack off all Trades 

Someone who's so easy to get in bed with, they'll jack you off for basically anything.
"Jared's a total Jack off all Trades, I said I'd get him McDonalds if he blew me, and man did he enjoy those McNuggets."

Jack off all trades 

A person who does not use profession as criteria for choosing sexual partners
- How'd you swing that? I thought Jane only fucked above a certain income bracket.

Naa man, she's a jack off all trades
Jack off all trades by michaelstripe December 12, 2007
Word of the Day on February 12, 2010
More from Urban Dictionary
A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026
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