João

A man whose penis is uncomonly large. In a way that it goes from Braga to Algarve and then it turns to china.

Often mistaken by: madeireiro profissional, mentiroso do caralho, skydiver profissional, mentiroso, mentiroso, barreteiro, mentiroso do caralho, mete petas.

Me: Look at that man, he has a huge penis!!
Friend: he must be João! of course he is a João!

Me: Look João is skydiving!
Friend: It won't be that exiting...
Me: why?
Friend: Because he is João and he will use his gigantic dick not to fall
Me: AWESOMEEEE!!!!

by polish the right turd December 12, 2015

João

A pint of beer, cider or other alcoholic beverages in reference to João Pinto, the Portuguese footballer.

Fancy going to the pub for a joão?

by thirtysecondhero December 12, 2010

João

John can mean many things ...
João means cool
João means god
João means you are the greatest in the whole world
João means smart
João can mean everything good that exists on Earth

Woah your hair its very João

Wow you had a SS+++++ on the teste?!?! You are so João!!

You are a João in this game!! No one can beat you!

There is only one João!!! Dont listen the other religions because they are wrong!

by JoãoXPTOCuriousCleverEnglish January 18, 2021

João

litteraly the best brazillian wonder kid on earth like he’s even the best wonder kid ever he plays for watford like best watford player ever gonna get em promoted n shit and a joao is like what u call someone that’s cool.

although when you call someone a joao it can be referred to being called a nonce ngl

example 1 for normal: hey look that guy has a big shlong it must be João

Example 2 for nonce: Hey g, look over there it’s a joao tappin a 15 year old

by JoãoPedro10 April 3, 2021

João

João is the ultimate hot guy, he won the genetic lottery and has a sex appeal that few can be proud to say the same, heartbreaker since birth, usually can get every girl he wants and takes pride on it, he’s very blunt and straightforward and is used to use flattery to get what he wants as he’s so charming. He’s a natural leader and can be the most amazing person you ever met either in friendships and romantic relationships or the worst if you make the mistake to make it between him and what he wants. He can act like a douchebag in such situations but he quickly regrets it as he’s also the sweetest human being on earth.
Women have a love-hate relationship with him but love usually prevails

Girl 1 to her friend: “Wow look at João, I would make anything to have him “ *proceeds to get naked*
Girl 2: I don’t like him he’s too cocky look at way he walks , I think he’s an idiot
Girl 1: I think we’re not talking about the same guy, he was so sweet to me the other day

Girl 2: Omg he talked to you??? Lucky girl

by CherHorowitz123 November 21, 2021

João

Synonym for cocksucker

I saw an adult movie where they did a lot of João

by Rei Panadão November 22, 2021

João

If you have a João you have almost everything.

He's a loyal compassionate companion for life.

You should never betray Joao's trust, for it may wound him in many ways.

If you are Joao's girlfriend, keep in mind that you will live a comfortable humble life.

If your name is Raquel, please ignore the text above. You'll do anything you want... And everything will be fine.

João, que faz esta roupa em cima do sofá?

by John Snows November 23, 2021