Horizontility 

Horizontility is the amount of horizontalness of something, such as a tabletop, or floor. A vertical wall would have 0% horizontility while the line monitoring the heartbeat of a dead man would have 100% horizontility.

Person A: Dude, check out the horizontility of that guy. It's gotta be like 99%.
Person B: Yeah, silly drunk guys, sleep somewhere else.

Horizontility by jwalk0n August 5, 2008

horizontalitis 

N. - the inclination to fill up (‘inflame’) any flat, open surface; ‘clutterize’, or, the desire to lay down no matter the circumstances.

Afflicted with horizontalitis, she was headed for an appearance on Hoarders, as she could not keep any area of her home free of clutter.

He suffered from horizontalitis and took the phrase “laying down on the job” to a whole new level.

horizontalitis by CramApple1999 March 29, 2023