1) noun: A swollen varicose vein in or around the anus, rectum or sigmoid colon;
2) adjective: A
person who's both
useless, and a major pain in the ass, in the most obnoxious of ways. They fall beneath the level of "asshole," because an asshole has some function, at least. A hemorrhoid just gets in the way of your life and causes
pain for no reason.