Healslut (noun, verb, my entire existence, send help)
Hi, I’
m Jade Ann Byrne, and I’m a healslut. I didn’t choose this life; it chose me. One minute, I was minding my own business, maybe planning to
DPS or—God forbid—tank. The next, I was Mercy pocketing some
cracked-out Genji main who thinks “I need healing” is the only voice line in the game.
Being a healslut means I will heal you even if you don’t deserve it. It means watching my entire team face-tank an ult like they have plot armor, knowing full well they’ll blame me when we wipe. It means reviving the same dumbass twice, knowing damn well he’
s about to
die again.
But most of all, being a healslut means I care. Too much. It means I’ll heal through the
pain, keeping my squad alive even as my soul withers away, because deep down, I know…
If I don’t do it, who will?
Healslut
1. “Oh, you wanna dive the entire enemy team alone? While you dial my parts, okay
Fine. Guess I’m a healslut now.”
2. “I said I wasn’t healing today, but here I am, hard-pocketing another
mid DPS double
Lush embedded: Classic healslut move.”
3. “They were all whispering me explicitly @ me, but who got Play of the Game? That’s right. The healslut.”
