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GingerFred cookies 

Not your typical happy faced gingerbread cookie. GingerFred stares back at you with a withering look reminiscent of the mean neighbor across the street who wouldn't let you retrieve an errant baseball from his lawn when you were nine. At a party GingerFred will remain alone on a cookie plate because nobody dares to cross him. If GingerFred were Flat Stanley he would travel the globe terrifying anyone who found him in their mailbox and would leave crumbs behind everywhere he went. If glitter is the herpes of the crafting world, GingerFred crumbs surely are the herpes of the kitchen - they are absolutely everywhere and six months after baking GingerFred cookies you will still find angry crumbs tormenting you from under the stove. You can only wish that when they made GingerFred they broke the mold, yet somehow he appears like clockwork in the bakery every Friday just in time to spoil your weekend.
Your mother asked me to bring dessert for Christmas dinner. I'm going to surprise her with some GingerFred cookies - that'll permanently get me out of Christmas dinner at her house - bet you wish you thought of the idea first.
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