Genius Bar 

Apple's tech support station located in every Apple Store. Their specialties include:
- Run by minimum wage earning 18 year olds.
- Knows how to open Apple products and check the water damage indicators.

- If water damage indicators turn pink they charge you $1200 for a new motherboard and display. If not, they cannot fix the problem and they recommend you buy a new $2000 Macbook.

Customer: My Iphone X’s back glass is broken can you fix it?
Genius: Sure! I’ll be right back.
Genius: Unfortunately, we have to replace the entire motherboard, charging port, and camera because we fused the back glass to it.

Customer: Huh? Why did you guys design your phones in such a stupid way?
Genius: Because fuck you that’s why. Oh, and the repair will be $500 + Tax.

Customer: Well, I can’t be seen holding a cracked Iphone in front of my 3 friends so I must have the repair.

- Genius Bar staff

Genius Bar by Squag tentacles November 25, 2018

barroom genius 

Someone who has the gift of bull****. Usually is the one at the bar that pretends to be an expert on a subject after reading one newspaper article on it. Usually is thought of as a "genius" by the surrounding drunks, who don't know any better.

John: Hey, did you hear what Sam had to say on that subject last night at the bar??

Mike: Are you kidding? That idiot is a barroom genius. The only people dazzled by him are the drunk fools that don't know any better.

barroom genius by GiGi9339 April 26, 2010

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008