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the thing that actually doesn’t help you find your phone
Yo! Chase! Have you heard my phone going off?
Chase: no, why?
You: well, i turned Find My on and it isn’t fucking working!!!!!!
Chase: reasonable crash-out
Find My by whatdahaillllll February 27, 2025
Words you can keep

find my libbay 

finding one's significant other, often through accidental circumstances and/or in your place of employ
Dude...why can't I just find my libbay?

find my Johnson 

This is a game for all ages. A man stands still while the players search for the Johnson. The Johnson is usually hiding in the mans pants. Once you find the Johnson you have to rub it untill it throws up a sticky white substance.
Jared and I played find my Johnson yesterday! I found the Johnson but I couldnt make him throw up.

i need to find my backpack

code for "i need to take a crap". it's the new #2, essentially.

based off in a popular sitcom when a boy was trying to lie to his friends saying he was looking for backpack while he was really taking a poo
Guy 1: "Dude, you look uncomfortable."
Guy 2: "Yeah, we need to go home real quick."
Girls: "Why?"
Guy 2: "I need to find my backpack."
Guy 1: "Ohh... yeah, let's go."
Girls: "Now?"

Can't find my ass 

A state of being overwhelmed, especially when starting a new job. Or simply not being able to get a project, task, or assignment started due to either mass confusion or a lack of organization.
Joe: Wanna go to lunch man? Was thinking the noon buffet at the Men's Club. You in?
Cecil: Naa, started this new gig...I can't find my ass right now, so just working thru lunch I guess.
Joe: OK dude. Well, don't work too hard.
Can't find my ass by ab5sr May 12, 2016

<.7.9.7.6.>One day, ill find my way back to you But until then i just gotta keep<.7.9.7.6.> 

<.7.9.7.6.>One day, ill find my way back to you But until then i just gotta keep<.7.9.7.6.>
<.7.9.7.6.>One day, ill find my way back to you But until then i just gotta keep<.7.9.7.6.>

find the square root of my dick 

b is for ball
Will: find the square root of my dick
his mom: *kills Will≧◇≦*
More from Urban Dictionary

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026
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