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faecesbook
Faecesbook serves many useful functions:
1) it allows people you don't give a rats ass about and wouldn't speak to if you passed them in the street the chance to bore you with every banal detail or their uneventful lives because both you and they have joined in some global "friends" arms races based on numbers of people you've clicked a link for but don't really know or care about
2) it allows you to make even more of a fool of yourself by posting updates and photos of all the oh so clever and funny stuff you did while blind drunk. The kind of thing you'd rather your parents/boss/colleagues/beloved aunt never knew about - except now they will, and probably before you've even came round, because you've "friended" them all on Faecesbook
3) it allows you to look really pathetic by updating your status to "in a relationship with someone I've actually spoke to in real life" after last night's drunken one-nighter only for them to publicly dump you before breakfast.
4) it allows Faecesbook to micro-examine the details of your life and sell all that information on to anyone willing to pay for it. Do you really like being marketed to? Tell Faecesbook what you had for breakfast!
5) it allows some frazzle haired dork who couldn't get laid at Harvard the chance to become a billionaire - and all off the information you so willingly hand over to his sprawling faeces-pumping empire.
1) it allows people you don't give a rats ass about and wouldn't speak to if you passed them in the street the chance to bore you with every banal detail or their uneventful lives because both you and they have joined in some global "friends" arms races based on numbers of people you've clicked a link for but don't really know or care about
2) it allows you to make even more of a fool of yourself by posting updates and photos of all the oh so clever and funny stuff you did while blind drunk. The kind of thing you'd rather your parents/boss/colleagues/beloved aunt never knew about - except now they will, and probably before you've even came round, because you've "friended" them all on Faecesbook
3) it allows you to look really pathetic by updating your status to "in a relationship with someone I've actually spoke to in real life" after last night's drunken one-nighter only for them to publicly dump you before breakfast.
4) it allows Faecesbook to micro-examine the details of your life and sell all that information on to anyone willing to pay for it. Do you really like being marketed to? Tell Faecesbook what you had for breakfast!
5) it allows some frazzle haired dork who couldn't get laid at Harvard the chance to become a billionaire - and all off the information you so willingly hand over to his sprawling faeces-pumping empire.
Add me to the list of people you barely know on Faecesbook
Find me on Faecesbook
Add shit to my Faecesbook wall
Find me on Faecesbook
Add shit to my Faecesbook wall
faecesbook by go-faecesbook-yourself November 6, 2011
Festive Faeces
The art and science of defecating on another's doorstep on Christmas Day. Several sources credit the first use of the word to the urban legend Leeds Dr Rudeboy.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
1st person: Well, that fine selection of of Cliff Richard records certainly has put me in the mood for the Queen's Speech tomorrow! Shall we retire early and let St Nicholas pay his visit?
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
Festive Faeces by Leeds Dr Rudeboy December 3, 2010
mind fecked
A state beyond mind fucked. A self destruct mode where your brain voluntarily turns to scrambled egg in an attempt to escape the torture you're putting it through.
mind fecked by OmegaStray August 5, 2018
Faeces
Science teacher: "...and at the end of the digestive system, waste products are excreted in the form of faeces."
Class clown translates: "SHITTY POO COME OUT OF BUM."
Class clown translates: "SHITTY POO COME OUT OF BUM."
Faeces by HelloMyNameIsNoneOfYourBusines February 12, 2010
Facekeyboard
Similar to a facepalm. A facekeyboard occurs when one is on the computer and something either so stupid or frustrating occurs that the user is inclined to bang their head on the keyboard.
Facekeyboard by Rellik Uzi August 18, 2010
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