doucheometer 

One's level of douchiness... measured on a scale using the unit

A-hole/Sec... Highest ever measured was 1 A-hole/sec

Brian: "Ha ha, I'm being so funny right now"
Mike: "No your not, you're like totally measuring a 1 on the doucheometer right now"

doucheometer by sonbro56 August 15, 2010

Doucheometer 

The level in which your intuition kicks in and tells your gut you are dealing with a level of. Douchness, far beyond any basic level of comprehension.

Usually your doucheometer kicks in when you recognize the effects experienced by the typical recognizable attributes, such as: "What are you talking about? It was you, not me" when discussing the fact that you know damn well the nutella jar is empty and you didn't have any...

Claims the order was for him and then runs off with your pizza that you already paid for...

Sees you coming with an assload of shopping bags and then proceeds to lock and deadbolt the door, while staring through the glass at you with a mildly disdainful smirk...
And after all of this, proceeds to tell you, YOURE THE TROLL!!!!!!

Doucheometer by IHateyoutoo,Austin!!! January 30, 2019

douchenometry 

a lesser known branch of mathematics that studies douchebags. Douchenometry deals with the relationship between the modern day douchebag and doucheassery.

Douchenometry should be a mandatory prerequisite class prior to working at any Ed Hardy clothing store.

sample theories
1. douchebagA + douchebagB = 2 too many douchebags in one area
2. The shortest distance between two douchebags is always the other direction

douchenometry by pendergastastic September 7, 2010

douchometer 

The level on a scale from 1-10 on how much any person, persons, or particular action was douche-like or of a mean, malignant, or asshole-like behavior

student A: Dude, my science teacher just gave me detention for being like two seconds late

student B: wtf man that's an easy 7.5 on the douchometer

douchometer by akroyoungin April 25, 2008

doucheosterone 

The natural hormone that a douche bag guy creates or injects into his body. Most douchey dudes have high levels of this hormone.

Jim seems to be exceptional douche bag today. His doucheosterone must be off the charts.

doucheosterone by TrenchtheWrench June 17, 2018

douchemeyer 

A unique type of douche. He as well as being a douche possesses many of the characteristics of Urban Meyer.

An arrogant middle aged man with the maturity of a frat boy.

Someone willing to say anything to get their way. ( lying to recruits)

Someone who runs up the score on lesser competition to feed his already massive ego.

Someone who thinks of himself as a genius while no one else does.

Someone who cries foul when his tactics are used against him.

Also a term describing an inappropriate male on male relationship between a coach and his star player.

That guy is such a douchemeyer for beating praireview a&m 70-3.

I think coach pulled a douchemeyer on little timmy.

douchemeyer by mitch guist May 7, 2013

douchemeter 

The list of people who are duche's and just dont get it. set up with code names to protect the identy of the guilty with varying levls of retardation.

i swear if that guy calls one more time he's moving up on the old douchemeter.

douchemeter by olympiacos December 26, 2006