Skip to main content

Douchebag Theory 

In the game of guy attracts girl, the only winning strategy for men any more is to simply be a complete tool, or douchebag. The sweet guy will always end up turning into the gay bestfriend with no hope of recovery.
Joe: You hear that Michelle started dating Chad?
Nerd: WTF I POORED MY HEART OUT TO HER JUST LAST NIGHT!
Joe: Well you know how douchebag theory is...
Douchebag Theory by Cosban June 29, 2011
Douchebag Theory mug front
Get the Douchebag Theory mug.
See more merch

Douchebag Theory 

The hottness of a guys girlfriend is directly proportional to how much of a douchebag the guy is.
Ben: Why don't you ever see a cool dude with a hott girlfriend?
Joel: Ever heard of the douchebag theory? Check it out on Urbandictionary.com!
Douchebag Theory by samerK July 30, 2009

The Douchebag Theory 

The answer to why girls always date douchebags. It usually starts from a young age, when a boy is mean to a girl, the girl goes home and cries to her mom, her mom then says "it's okay, it's just because he likes you", the girl is then happy with that answer and moves on with life thinking everytime a guy is an ass to her, it just means they like her, she goes on thinking that until she is old enough to date guys, and then she proceeds to ask the biggest douchebag out, and that explains how all the assholes get hot girls.
The douchebag theory, the answer to everything.

Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem 

The sociological rule that one person wearing a fedora in a larger group may be stylistically unique, but two or more people wearing a fedora in a larger group renders every person in that group a douchebag.
Check it out - another fedora. What a douchebag.

No, wait - if it was just that one dude it might be cool, but two of his bros are wearing them too. According to the Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem, all five of them are douchebags.

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026