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Dog Festival Directions 

If you want to eat some dog I have good news
There's an annual dog festival
Where you can eat all the dog you want
And it's located in Yulin Guangxi China
And the festival spans about ten days
With 15000 dogs consumed
And it goes from the 21st to the 30th of June
I just wanna let you know Im just trying to be a bro
So you first take a flight to Guangzhou China
Once you get off at that airport
You wanna ask around for the Guangxi provincial bus
And it costs 20 US dollars
And its a four and a half hour ride
And you get off at Maoming West
Just remember Maoming West
Now you might have to stay there a full night
Depending on the time you arrive
Because the next bus that goes to Yulin
Only runs like once a day
And you have to buy another ticket
Its about another 22 bucks
But from there it goes straight to Yulin
Soon enough you'll be eating some dog
Now there are about 8 available hotels in Yulin
I'm checking online now
I suggest the Yulin Lijing International Hotel
Offering a sauna and fitness center
Wow it's not too bad at all
Never mind it's 50 bucks a night
But with free complementary breakfast
And a free cancelation fee
So it's not a bad as I thought
When you're ready the concierge will know
Exactly which festival you're talking about
And he or she will give you directions
So, take a cab
But don't get ripped off
If you're white they'll charge you double
I shit you not
But anyways enjoy your flight
Goodbye
Enjoy the dog festival
Man I wish I had Directions to the dog festival

well listen to Dog festival directions
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Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
stove by anthony willison March 18, 2004
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Scrapnel 

(N) :
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Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!
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a sign of love or flirtatious language between two emo people.
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okeeez rawr xD
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cfm boots 

come fuck me boots - style of dress made famous by 1980's Jersey girls who liked Bon Jovi and big hair.

Look at those cfm boots.
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