Darquankus McBunky 

Darquankus McBunky was an accomplished military general that commanded the 23rd regiment of the Blundercrank National Army. He fought alongside many notable figures as Drake, Bobo DonQuoofy, Chief Keef, Yeat, Quandale Dingle, Abraham Lincoln, as well as Eric and Jonathan. He was slaughtered on April 4th, 1922, when he was caught in the crossfire of a shootout between the Blundercrank Mafia and my good friend Mark, being shot in the forehead 32 times. He was rushed to the hospital where he underwent an emergency rectal transplant procedure. After a month in the hospital, he started to recover, however he contracted terminal lumbago and died shortly after.

Darquankus being remembered by some notable historical figures:

Abraham Lincoln - “He was a good man… filled with joy, carbon molecules and an infectious lens of positivity through which he viewed the world around him”

Yeat - “I’m still mourning his loss, please get these microphones out of my face”

Jonathan - “He was a good man, inspiring father and brave leader who - ” ***remainder of quote lost in office fire***

Teacher: ok class, who do you look up to?

Student: I look up to Darquankus McBunky because he is so brave

Teacher: yes

Darquankus McBunky by Jonathan Gunkus March 29, 2022