Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
Punch line to the joke listed below.
Made popular by a scene in the movie Black Sheep where Chris Farely's character is loudly heard telling the punchline. Abscence of the body of the joke in the movie led many to believe the joke did not really exist and there was only a punchline.
Made popular by a scene in the movie Black Sheep where Chris Farely's character is loudly heard telling the punchline. Abscence of the body of the joke in the movie led many to believe the joke did not really exist and there was only a punchline.
Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.
"Horrible, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.
The teacher corrected, "Johnnie, we say 'rectum.'"
Little Johnnie replied "Rectum? Damn near killed him!"
"Horrible, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.
The teacher corrected, "Johnnie, we say 'rectum.'"
Little Johnnie replied "Rectum? Damn near killed him!"
Rectum? Damn near killed him! by JKKendrick December 26, 2009
Related Words
Rectum, damn near killed him!
This is the punchline of complete joke:
Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.
"Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.
She said, "Rectum."
"Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"
Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.
"Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.
She said, "Rectum."
"Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"
Rectum, damn near killed him! by ax949 October 9, 2003
Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em
There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one:
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'
As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.
Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'
The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."
Or this shorter version:
Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'
As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.
Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'
The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."
Or this shorter version:
Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!
Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em by the_only_real_coffee_sloth September 10, 2009
Rectum, damn near killed him!
Rectum, damn near killed him! by Pabs Momoney August 25, 2003
as near as damn it
as near as damn it by biggs33 March 21, 2006
More from Urban Dictionary
Ajumma
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026
Slop Grenade
When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.
Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
floxi
Short-hand for the word floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language).
After we broke up, he was floxi to me.
Respectfully
Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026