Dad

Motherfucker.

The word 'dad' was coined in 1500 BC.
Kids in 1501 BC: Motherfucker.

by th0tslayer_69 September 16, 2021

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Dad

The man who holds the loudest sneezing record.

“Man, I wish I could sneeze as loud as Dad.”

by Sebastian III December 11, 2021

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Dad

The person who helped make you. The person who wont let boys near you. The person who tells you to wear a sweater and pants to the beach. Over protective of their daughter(s).

Daughter: Dad i don't want to wear a jacket top the beach its too hot!
Dad: I don't want those boys looking at my little girl.
Daughter: I'm 16!

by DontAskForMyName February 15, 2015

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Dad

The parent that shits in your bathroom. Also takes a ton of shit. Your dad is super loving actually, except most people find fathers to be inconsiderate fucks. No one cares if your father forced told you to buy your own house. And no one cares that your dad supports the 2nd amendment. Back to the other shitting part, his shits are fucking MASSIVE. I'm talking like holy shit massive, like your toilet cannot be unclogged massive.

Welp. My son is gay, the other is a right wing, and my daughter's a feminist. I'm surprised I haven't killed myself. Am I a good dad? Yeah.

by The Ugly Prince December 15, 2017

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