Dad

The guy who is always handy and will protect you no matter what. He is kind and caring, but tough enough to kill anyone who is messing with his daughter! And the guy who shall intimidate my first boyfriend....

"I will hunt you down if you hurt my daughter." -My Dad in the future.

by Unicorn01 January 16, 2014

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Dad

The man who copulated with your mother to produce you. He is often the least appreciated parent (though not always), and most likely the one who puts food on the table (again, not always).

Dad: I'm HOME! *Is tired after working for assholes for 8 hours*

You: Sweet McDonalds! *Snatches food from dad without even a hello*

by Missus Cupcake February 4, 2013

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Dad

Dad, please, comeback, i know your taking a long time to get the milk, but its been a while, i miss that good old dairy smell, the produce isle doesn’t feel the same without you anymore. But dad, please come back, its been 15 years, mom couldn’t afford the mortgage, and we are living in cardboard boxes on the side of the road, my sister molly, was abducted by a homeless man on a tricycle. Mum can barely afford a happy meal, mom’s been acting very differently, after she started snorting salt. My favorite game that me and my brother do, is that we steal stuff from SuperStore, and see how long we can make it out of the store, before getting slaughtered at the end of the side of the road, mom has already had to amputate her leg and two arms just to keep us fed on the past few days. Brother Timmy has also been acting weird since we hung his rabbit on the McDonald's drive through section, before creeping customers, and stealing their french fries from the wedged part of their carseat. Some guy tried selling me kids on a Tricycle and saw that my Long Lost sister was in the back where most of his butchered horses, some day in Weathorford Texas. Mum Couldn’t afford cutting off her limbs anymore, so she gave us flashlight to search through dumpsters late at night when The Chad’s appear. But please comeback, Dad, i need something from you. Come back, with the milk...

Timmy: Where did dad go mom?
Mom: he has been gone for a while Timmy.
Me: Wheres the milk?
Molly: *mphmghph* struggles to get the duck tape off her face after being kidnapped.
Brother: I need milk, its a problem

by Trash Kid September 14, 2019

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Dad

The guy who's on your ass 24/7 about grades, sports, what you do with your free time, drugs, alcohol, your behavior....etc and will never give you a break, or room to breath, he can also be pretty chill when he has vented all his rage on the rest of your family, he likes classic rock, talking about politics, he is never wrong and will argue until his face turns red to prove his point no matter how ridiculous it may be, he is either the best or the worst when he drinks, he is extremely controlling with what you do and how you manage your time, he does love you (well i mean he is your father right?) and after owning you he usually says its because he loves you (which is usually bullshit)overall you still love your dad even tho he may be a total asshole, and when u move away you will love him even more

Me: Dad is it alright if i got to Jess's party?

Dad: Hmmm I just got you report card, do you know you have a D in math this quarter?

Me: yes... (thinking FUCK)I'm sorry?

Dad: well you're gonna be sorry because from now on you're not doing shit until you learn to be responsible, you're in high school grow up...(getting more pissed) i know you stole two of my Bud Lights I'm adding two weeks to your punishment you're going to be an alcoholic some day

by DankChiefer3000 May 29, 2008

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