Closet Pineapplest Share definition Flag Someone who declares they don't like pineapple on pizza. But secretly they do. Oh, is that a pineapple pizza! You're such a closet pineapplest. Closet Pineapplest by f4fred May 24, 2019 0 0 Get merch Get the Closet Pineapplest mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch