Pain that occurs during menstruation.
Symptoms include:
Cramps
Pelvic pain
Backache
Joint or muscle pain
Headache or migraine
Fatigue accompanied by pain
Abdominal bloating that causes pain
Breast tenderness
A male symptom that occurs when much action and dry humping has occurred with a girlfriend or boyfriend, but where trousers have remained on. The condition is extremely painful, and chronic, as the pain will mount until the pressure is released.
"I can't carry on like this. I have severe (chronic/torturous) trouser pressure pains. And since we haven't really done it thus far, I conclude I must go home and read some heady literature whilst on the toilet."