Canadian Canasian Happy Ending

When you visit a Rub and Tug or a Happy Ending massage parlor. The lady massaging you must be Asian born in Canada. As she’s giving you your Happy Ending she first pours maple syrup all over you erect Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap while wearing a Sasquatch mask. At the point of climax she catches all of your missile children in a goalie glove.

Broham last night Nancy gave me a Canadian Canasian Happy Ending but couldn’t find the goalie glove so I rained down missile children all over the place.

Canadian Canasian Happy Ending by Artie J Saves April 3, 2026

Canadian Northern Happy Ending

While visiting the far northern areas of Canada you come across the very hard to find Rub and Tug massage parlor. What makes the Northern Rub and Tugs stand out is the process in which the fire off your missile children. They cover your entire body in nothing but rendered whale blubber, paying special attention to your Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap. If you find the right massage parlor they actually use a fur beaver mitten for added pleasure. While stroking your blubber coated meat missile they help you achieve a perfect launch of your missile children.

Last night Nancy decided to try and give me a Canadian Northern Happy Ending. It didn’t work out very well.

Canadian Northern Happy Ending by Artie J Saves April 3, 2026