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Canadian Canasian Happy Ending

When you visit a Rub and Tug or a Happy Ending massage parlor. The lady massaging you must be Asian born in Canada. As she’s giving you your Happy Ending she first pours maple syrup all over you erect Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap while wearing a Sasquatch mask. At the point of climax she catches all of your missile children in a goalie glove.
Broham last night Nancy gave me a Canadian Canasian Happy Ending but couldn’t find the goalie glove so I rained down missile children all over the place.
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Canadian Northern Happy Ending

While visiting the far northern areas of Canada you come across the very hard to find Rub and Tug massage parlor. What makes the Northern Rub and Tugs stand out is the process in which the fire off your missile children. They cover your entire body in nothing but rendered whale blubber, paying special attention to your Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap. If you find the right massage parlor they actually use a fur beaver mitten for added pleasure. While stroking your blubber coated meat missile they help you achieve a perfect launch of your missile children.
Last night Nancy decided to try and give me a Canadian Northern Happy Ending. It didn’t work out very well.

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.
I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand
Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026
Word of the Day on July 16, 2026
n. A screenshot fabricated by a company to misrepresent the graphics of a game; a combination of the words bullshit and screenshot.

Originated from Penny Arcade, a popular gaming webcomic.
-Have you seen Madden 2006 for the Xbox 360? The graphics are gonna be awesome!
-Dude, the Madden 2006 images they showed at E3 were bullshots. It doesn't look nearly as good as they said.
bullshot by Worker Unit #503,298,545 September 26, 2005
Word of the Day on July 15, 2026