Black Bryan

The most dynamic, interesting, magnetic person who has ever walked the earth. Men, women, animals and the sun, moon, and stars gravitate towards his location wherever he is. Black Bryans are unusually & strangely good-looking, well-dressed, often having medium-dark hair & complexion paired with the natural ability to slide through the shadows and seamlessly blend in with all walks of life. They often tend to favor classic rock bands like Rush, Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath. Occasionally found rocking out on a 5-string fretless bass, a Black Bryan is admired & respected by all nations worldwide, not only for his excellence & versatility in bass-playing, also many handed approach to improve the environment, suddenly appearing like a Cenobite out of nowhere, wreaking havok on his immediate surroundings causing force-gale winds to spring up forming a strong DIRT-DEVIL in the air! Then just as suddenly- the dirt settles & all the ground is groomed, leveled, weeded, seeded watered with all clippings neatly bagged up. If you find a Black Bryan, especially if you have yard that's overgrown, get out of the way because you are standing in the way of progress. Let him do his thing, even if the sun went down & its dark. That's when a Black Bryan does his best work. You won't regret it unless you forget to get your lighter back from him. And if ya dont know, now ya know.

Jimmy: "Damn! Who is that?! And what the hell is he doing over there?" To Black Bryan "Hey, bro, what're you doin'?"
Sally: "Oh, that's Black Bryan, when he comes over he likes to mow my back yard for me. He's really helpful."
Black Bryan: "Hey! Wassup, Jimmy big boi?! I like to do a Black Bryan on Sally's yard, when i come by, gives me something to do.. You got a lighter? I need to use it."
Jimmy: "You can Black Bryan my yard too."

by Eiggamemevolretteb February 7, 2023