BLART

Brutal Life Altering Rape Treatment. Noun; The act of raping someone with such force and single-minded evil that it changes their life forever. As opposed to date rape, which can often be repressed, a BLART is something that forces years of therapy and total loss of self. Being held captive in a trucker's footlocker for three weeks eating only clumps of hair and peach slices while being systematically tortured and sexually abused with jumper cables would be a BLART. Showering after some frat boy held you down for three minutes would not be a BLART.
They found her hiding from the light in a hallowed out tree clinging to a dirty sweater and missing six fingers, it was obvious to the detectives she had received a BLART.

That girl is such a cunt, she needs a good BLART.

I would never make love to Paris Hilton, but I wouldn’t mind giving her a BLART.

by TeamMillunzi February 18, 2009
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Blarting

The act of attempting to finger someone with your foot whilst watching Paul Blart Mall Cop, starring Kevin James as the titular mild-mannered security guard who must save the day when his shopping mall is taken over by a gang of organised crooks.
"omg becky, i cant believe dinosaur cum boy blarted me last night"

"eww blarting is so gross, at least he didn't grown ups 2 (featuring adam sandler, kevin james, chris rock and david spade) you like connor did to me the other night"
by Xx_blarter_xX December 27, 2021
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blart

A portmanteau of "blood" and "fart". Meant to be a flatus; a wind; a whoopee or an emittance of intestinal gas (also known as the "ass belch") which involuntarily becomes a discharge of slimy matter that is a mixture of excrement and blood.
Melvin: "Did you hear that? Is it Chinese new year already?"
Sparky: "Naah, I just blarted. I guess I need to go home and.. Yup."
by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 13, 2021
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Blart

A big 'ol fat nut
Jake: So, what were you doing last night?
Joseph: I was just having a good blart over your fit mum dude
Jake: Yummy
by CheekyGustavo October 05, 2018
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Blart

Adjective, adverb;

Inspired by Kevin James in the movie, "Paul Blart Mall Cop", blart is a derogatory term for addressing and/or describing someone whom is overweight/obese.
1. "Hey, do you remember those girl's names who walked past us?"

"Which one, the tall girl or that blonde blart?"

2. The women felt socially awkward when a rather blarty looking man in an elevator ripped a mad, thick fart.

3. "Jarome, I don't even understand why you're together with that blart."

"I like some meat on my bones."
by BaconFlipper April 23, 2013
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blart

A fart with blood in it. When you strain to fart, blood sprays into your underwear.
After jaay got rid of his wicked case of buttslaw, he still had the occasional painful blart.
by Legendary Films September 20, 2004
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blarting

To cry your eyes out
"Stop blarting, little Johnny!"
by Mandy Robinson June 02, 2005
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