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A big 'ol fat nut
Jake: So, what were you doing last night?
Joseph: I was just having a good blart over your fit mum dude
Jake: Yummy
by CheekyGustavo October 05, 2018
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Made infamous by the satirical movie, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop", a 'Blart' is a mall security guard oftentimes focused much more intently on those shoppers and mall walkers admiring and taking pictures of a mall, rather than keeping an eye out for actual suspicious activity.

This can also stem from mall mgmt or owners not wanting their mall to "look bad" in the public eye.
Mall Enthusiast: "Hey, Mr Mall Security Officer, there's an old lady being robbed over there in the food court at gunpoint... she needs help!!!"

Blart: "No Pitchurs!"
via giphy
by Brick Immortar November 10, 2019
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Adjective, adverb;

Inspired by Kevin James in the movie, "Paul Blart Mall Cop", blart is a derogatory term for addressing and/or describing someone whom is overweight/obese.
1. "Hey, do you remember those girl's names who walked past us?"

"Which one, the tall girl or that blonde blart?"

2. The women felt socially awkward when a rather blarty looking man in an elevator ripped a mad, thick fart.

3. "Jarome, I don't even understand why you're together with that blart."

"I like some meat on my bones."
by BaconFlipper April 22, 2013
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A fart with blood in it. When you strain to fart, blood sprays into your underwear.
After jaay got rid of his wicked case of buttslaw, he still had the occasional painful blart.
by Legendary Films September 20, 2004
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one or more fake-tanned scantily-clad tattooed young ladies whose typical Friday evening's entertainment would consist of excessive alcohol consumption, giggling loudly whilst dancing around handbags, and urinating in the street. This to be followed by vigorous sexual intercourse with random males of the species, either up against a wall, over some rubbish bins or in a skip. The above phenomena can be observed between the hours of 11pm - 4am Friday evenings on the streets of any town or city in the north of England.
"how man lets get wersels in there man it's wall to wall wi blart"
by GeordieChris July 17, 2006
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Northumbrian. The female reproductive orifice and the tissues attendant thereto. Usually of a sheep or other farm animal - but not necessarily.
He looked worn oot. Glimmers like a pair of sheep's blarts.
by Radge Gadgee December 06, 2006
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Blart, verb to cry Black County (UK West Midlands) dialect - from "the bleating of sheep"
"stop your blarting"
by Jentim July 27, 2005
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