A condition when the Fecal Impaction of the Colon is so solid and an has become an immobile bulk mass of human feces that develops one's rectum as it has a resulted in a solid mass of constipation in one's ass, such that, it feels as if it is, “Chocked Full O' Nuts” which will not pass under normal circumstances and may have to be dug out with one's fingers or similar tools. i.e., "to shit a brick!"
Tommy: "You ok in their… Won?"

Won: "Oh yes yes, me mighty fine, it is my ass that is the problem, and I am in a state of constipated and my ass is full of Asteroids and feels like it is Chocked Full O' Nuts”.

Jim: "What's the hold up with you two guys in this restroom; it’s time to watch the game."

Tommy: "Oh, it's Won; again, he say's his butt is so clogged up with Asteroids that he just can't shit and is in a lot of pain.

Jim: "What?"

Joe: "Oh, hell you guys, I have been telling you for years that Won is just full of shit."

Jim: “What a crock of shit, we are going to miss the game.”

Bobby: “Who gives a shit?”

Tommy: “Well, evidently Won does!”
via giphy
by Billy BullSchitter April 23, 2017
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Any vehicle, especially on the Interstate, driving ten or more miles an hour under the speed limit. See also asteroid field.
All these asteroids puttering down the road are killing me.
by Whitebred April 03, 2004
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Any rock floating about in outer space. There is a whole bunch of suck rocks floating about in outer space between the earth and mars, and this is known as the asteroid belt. When a stray asteroid gets heavily influenced by a planet's gravitation field, when it strays to close to the said planet, and eventually ends up crashing into that planet, the asteroid becomes a meteorite. If it does not end up crashing in, but grazes the atmosphere, or burns up in the aire itself, it is known as a meteor.
One of the largest asteroids is named after the gaulish God of the sky, Tautatis.
by Gunkglumb May 23, 2005
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an itching or painful mass of dilated veins in swollen anal tissue
"do you have asteroids"
"no but my dad does, they're so bad he cant sitdown somedays"
by mista ska March 25, 2003
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A male takes a shit. As males are wont to do, he stands up and looks down upon the mighty work his anus has wrought. After the proper time has passed and propriety has been suitably satisfied, the male may then aim his piss to break the shit clumps into progressively smaller turds*, evocative of the classic Atari arcade game Asteroids. This effect is especially poignant if the feces are of the "Floater" variety.

*It is said that the man who manages this feat most perfectly will subsequently gain entrance to the Outer Ring of the Seventh Circle of Hell. He may then, if he were so inclined, feed his frothy shit smoothie directly to Hitler, who resides therein.
Lucifer 4:19 : Verily, passageway shalt be granted to the mortal who, with his properly directed discharge, doth break up his droppings sufficiently so that none greater than might clog a small thimble remain. Yea, this deed shalt hereto forthwith be referred to as "Achieving an Asteroids".
by viewlesspath June 13, 2013
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The fattest thing at a party. You wouldn't fuck her, but you'd let her suck your dick.
Were there any girls at that party?" "Yeah, but there was an asteroid, too." "Oh. Gross. Did you fuck her?" "No, but I let her suck my dick.
by JustUsGuys October 03, 2010
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