Apple Wining
Also known as orchardification
The act of leaving urine in a toilet or other excrement receptacle long enough for it to ferment. The fermenting urine is usually accompanied by a potent odor not unlike that of fine wine. Usually, once the stench is overtly apparent, the person who made the urine will take note and flush it down. (Almost never without first getting a nice sniff of the seductive juice that had passed through his or her urethra only days before.) If someone is especially proud of his product, he can always allow the apple wine to sit long enough until he is confident enough it is ripe enough for others to enjoy the spectacle.
With a little initiative and courage, an apple-winemaker has three options:
-Admit friends into his piss room for a charge
-Sell his Applewine to a distributor
-Start his own large scale apple winery
Apple Wining is a fruitful business as it can be used in Applewine antioxidant pills to help prevent cancer, be the new Bud Light at parties, or simply take you to a different world with its aroma.
Start Your Wining Today!
The act of leaving urine in a toilet or other excrement receptacle long enough for it to ferment. The fermenting urine is usually accompanied by a potent odor not unlike that of fine wine. Usually, once the stench is overtly apparent, the person who made the urine will take note and flush it down. (Almost never without first getting a nice sniff of the seductive juice that had passed through his or her urethra only days before.) If someone is especially proud of his product, he can always allow the apple wine to sit long enough until he is confident enough it is ripe enough for others to enjoy the spectacle.
With a little initiative and courage, an apple-winemaker has three options:
-Admit friends into his piss room for a charge
-Sell his Applewine to a distributor
-Start his own large scale apple winery
Apple Wining is a fruitful business as it can be used in Applewine antioxidant pills to help prevent cancer, be the new Bud Light at parties, or simply take you to a different world with its aroma.
Start Your Wining Today!
*A 17 year old boy is showing his girlfriend around his house*
Jack: And here... here is the bathr-
Valerie: What the fuck is that smell!??!?!
Jack: Great, I know. It's my own little apple winery. You see first I eat two pounds of asparagus then I supplement it with exactly thirty-two ounces of lemon-lime gatorade let our an awesome pee. Then I let it lie for about one week before I-
Valerie: You don't flush your own piss! Like what is wrong with you?
Jack: You... you don't like it?
Valerie: No, psycho. I'm leaving!
Jack: Do have any idea what I have gone through to start this for you???? DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? I SAID I PISS SO MUCH THAT MY DICK FEELS LIKE IT'S DROWNING! I HEAR IT COUGHING AT NIGHT! HEY! COME BACK HERE YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF CUNT TRASH! OH THE TREASURES I'LL REAP FROM APPLE WINING WITHOUT YOU! YOU'LL SEE! I'LL SHOW YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING!
Jack: And here... here is the bathr-
Valerie: What the fuck is that smell!??!?!
Jack: Great, I know. It's my own little apple winery. You see first I eat two pounds of asparagus then I supplement it with exactly thirty-two ounces of lemon-lime gatorade let our an awesome pee. Then I let it lie for about one week before I-
Valerie: You don't flush your own piss! Like what is wrong with you?
Jack: You... you don't like it?
Valerie: No, psycho. I'm leaving!
Jack: Do have any idea what I have gone through to start this for you???? DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? I SAID I PISS SO MUCH THAT MY DICK FEELS LIKE IT'S DROWNING! I HEAR IT COUGHING AT NIGHT! HEY! COME BACK HERE YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF CUNT TRASH! OH THE TREASURES I'LL REAP FROM APPLE WINING WITHOUT YOU! YOU'LL SEE! I'LL SHOW YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING!
Apple Wining by Derfsniffer May 14, 2011
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