American Standoff
A rest room encounter in which two stalled bathroom attendees are both faced with a desire to NOT beat the opposing attendee to the finish line (often called the flush line).
The courteous stall attendee will wait for the opposing, earlier arriving squat jockey to flush before making his/or her pioneering lunge towards the flush line. This thankfully prevents said lunge from becoming recognizable by two of the five senses of the unwitting number two participant.
A rare phenomenon, ironically called the 'American Standoff', occurs when NEITHER stalwart bung vendor have had a chance to advance their cause. Both sit in incoommodious silence while their equally taciturn cube mate continues to clinch harder than a vice grip.
The American Standoff winner is crowned with the crapshooter who is able to hold out longer than a fat chick at a salad bar, and more importantly, their opponent.
Kudos, gallant gastrointestinal gamesman - this flush's for you!
The courteous stall attendee will wait for the opposing, earlier arriving squat jockey to flush before making his/or her pioneering lunge towards the flush line. This thankfully prevents said lunge from becoming recognizable by two of the five senses of the unwitting number two participant.
A rare phenomenon, ironically called the 'American Standoff', occurs when NEITHER stalwart bung vendor have had a chance to advance their cause. Both sit in incoommodious silence while their equally taciturn cube mate continues to clinch harder than a vice grip.
The American Standoff winner is crowned with the crapshooter who is able to hold out longer than a fat chick at a salad bar, and more importantly, their opponent.
Kudos, gallant gastrointestinal gamesman - this flush's for you!
Hey Tim, you'll never believe how long I had to sit and wait before I won an American Standoff today. My lower intestine was more uncomfortable than a lengthy pelvic examination performed by a man with two wooden hands.
American Standoff by Darrah November 8, 2007
