One bad-ass son of a bitch, this man kicks anyone and everyones ass, so don't get on his bad side mother fucker.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik cube and poop it out solved.
Chuck Norris isn't God but he can beat him at golf.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is so amazing don't fuck with him bitch
A sarcastic remark you use to praise a stupid friend that probably won't even sense the sarcasm
Said friend would even probably reply, "at least I'm fucking something" to cover the fact that they're a virgin and still making low ball sex jokes outside a Seinfeld sketch
friend: *does something stupid
you: you're fucking amazing
friend: at least I'm fucking something!!1!!1
you: great. now you're fucking amazing, and a virgin
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"