Alt boho mom
The Alt Boho mom does not fall prey to all suburban soccer mom fads and trends, she's not quite crunchy or granola mom, but yet grows her own veggies, or attempts to...but she's a mom. So the back up is to hit her local farmers market. Her house is decorated with plants, mixed with mid century modern vibe, and taxidermy (in the bug variety). She prepares home-cooked meals, but grub hubs from the neighborhood Indian restaurant, weekly. She follows vaccine schedules but breastfeeds until her baby can ask in a full sentence "May I have a boobie please?" She gives birth at home, or a birthing center and dreams of a water birth. For fun She follows true crime podcasts, and solves cold case murders. She has traded in former activities of live music shows in various basements, for watching NPR Tiny Desk Concerts.
Her kids names are unique or inspired by musicians, scientists or vintage family names. They play with wooden, Montessori toys, wear cloth diapers, that she may have a service for. Some are raised gender non-conforming. She lives either in remodeled, vintage, older homes with gay neighbors on each side, or in the suburbs where she takes long trail walks each day.
Her kids names are unique or inspired by musicians, scientists or vintage family names. They play with wooden, Montessori toys, wear cloth diapers, that she may have a service for. Some are raised gender non-conforming. She lives either in remodeled, vintage, older homes with gay neighbors on each side, or in the suburbs where she takes long trail walks each day.
A conversation between a soccer mom and an alt boho mom sounds like this.
Soccer mom: "Would you like to join me at Orange Theory for a work out?"
Alt Boho Mom: "Do you know what the carbon footprint is of treadmills. Walking outdoors is free, and I just read all this research based information on how it supports your mental health. Also, there was a cold case murder that occurred on this trail and I think I know where."
Soccer mom: "OMG that's horrifying, is it a safe trail for the kids! You should notify neighborhood watch."
Alt Boho Mom: "I'll bring some gluten free fig bars from the co-op and clay for sun screen."
Soccer Mom: "I have to pick up my Subaru outback from its oil change, drop Noah at baseball and pick up Delaney from dance, then I'll be OMW."
Soccer mom: "Would you like to join me at Orange Theory for a work out?"
Alt Boho Mom: "Do you know what the carbon footprint is of treadmills. Walking outdoors is free, and I just read all this research based information on how it supports your mental health. Also, there was a cold case murder that occurred on this trail and I think I know where."
Soccer mom: "OMG that's horrifying, is it a safe trail for the kids! You should notify neighborhood watch."
Alt Boho Mom: "I'll bring some gluten free fig bars from the co-op and clay for sun screen."
Soccer Mom: "I have to pick up my Subaru outback from its oil change, drop Noah at baseball and pick up Delaney from dance, then I'll be OMW."
Alt boho mom by Nerdybird30 May 19, 2022
