Alaskan flat tire 

A dog that is either lazy, injured, crippled, or dead. This comes from the fact that dog sleds are a well-known form of transportation in Alaska and that if anything bad were to happen to any one of the sled dogs, well, you know, the sled would falter like a car with a flat tire.

"Fuck, my dog's leg just broke! I've got an Alaskan flat tire here and I need to rush him to the vet fast!"

OR

"Hey asshole, keep your fucking pooch away from my garden, or else I'll get my shotgun and turn him into an Alaskan flat tire!"

Alaskan flat tire by Terminus_Est August 1, 2016

mccurry alaskan flat tire 

Worst than whiskey dick, limp dick or dead erection. Only happens in freezing weather.

when we got home last night, i was so ready to throw him down and hop on top but no such luck--he had a mccurry Alaskan flat tire :( waaaaah..

mccurry alaskan flat tire by DixxieCallahan October 6, 2016