A guy that really likes ham and Lincoln logs. He was a president, for some reason. He might have gone to a play to show the biggest Lincoln log tower and it not falling over, and putting ham sandwiches between each
piece and eating the ham sandwiches without it falling over. Then, John Walks Booth
said that
Lincoln didn't go through the walking booth. So John Walks Booth assassinated him, making the tower fall.
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: AND TODAY I WILL EAT THESE HAM SANDWICHES!!!
John Walks Booth: Wait a minute! You didn't get a Walking Ticket from the Walking Booth!
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: I-I don't need
one if I'm on stag-
John Walks Booth: I don't wanna hear it! "pulls out his
glock"
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: WAIT WAIT WAIT, NO WE CAN WORK THIS OUT!! I'
LL GET A TICKE-"Gets shot"
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log after
dead: Damn It, I was gonna get the world record for most sandwiches eaten between Lincoln logs.