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texas cattleman

This, amongst sexual maneuvers is the greatest of the great, but sadly, the rarest of the rare. It involves man's four best friends (except the dog of course): 1.) A well seasoned and cooked-to-perfection Texas style steak. 2.) A beautiful (preferably big-titted) girl of your choosing. 3.) Your favorite beer... and 4.) Head
The way it works is like this:
You're eating that perfect Texas-style steak, already an orgasm in and of itself. Meanwhile the beautiful (preferably big-titted) girl of your choosing is giving you head. But here's the rub (pun intended): she's massaging your balls, your "saddlebag" if you will, with another wonderful steak. Just as you get off she catches your manly secretions on her steak and consumes it while you simultaneously down that ice-cold favorite beer of yours.
This one can be for the ladies too, but it can get a little messy. Might I suggest steak-sauce as lubricant?

In heaven your manly secretions would actually be steak-sauce, but alas, we are mere mortals.

Oh, and real men incorporate the South Carolina into this. (See definition #8)
"Man, my girl was givin' me head the other day and I thought to myself, you know what this is missing? Steak and cervezas my friend... the Texas Cattleman."

Girl 1:"My boyfriend wanted me to rub his balls with a steak the other day... isn't that gross?"
Girl 2:"Oh no, that's hot, my boyfriend has be do it all the time. It's called the 'Texas Cattleman'. It gets me off every time."
texas cattleman by Bed Sharter September 23, 2008
Words you can keep

texas cattleman

This, amongst sexual maneuvers is the greatest of the great, but sadly, the rarest of the rare. It involves man's four best friends (except the dog of course): 1.) A well seasoned and cooked-to-perfection Texas style steak. 2.) A beautiful (preferably big-titted) girl of your choosing. 3.) Your favorite beer... and 4.) Head
The way it works is like this:
You're eating that perfect Texas-style steak, already an orgasm in and of itself. Meanwhile the beautiful (preferably big-titted) girl of your choosing is giving you head. But here's the rub (pun intended): she's massaging your balls, your "saddlebag" if you will, with another wonderful steak. Just as you get off she catches your manly secretions on her steak and consumes it while you simultaneously down that ice-cold favorite beer of yours.
This one can be for the ladies too, but it can get a little messy. Might I suggest steak-sauce as lubricant?

In heaven your manly secretions would actually be steak-sauce, but alas, we are mere mortals.

Oh, and real men incorporate the South Carolina into this. (See definition #8)
"Man, my girl was givin' me head the other day and I thought to myself, you know what this is missing? Steak and cervezas my friend... the Texas Cattleman."

Girl 1:"My boyfriend wanted me to rub his balls with a steak the other day... isn't that gross?"
Girl 2:"Oh no, that's hot, my boyfriend has be do it all the time. It's called the 'Texas Cattleman'. It gets me off every time."
texas cattleman by Bed Sharter September 22, 2008
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Example 2: What, you ain't got no brought-upsy?

Translation: I can't believe you're doing that. Were you not taught any manners as a child?
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