jesus goddamn fucking christ 

1. an exclamation one would express when frustrated

2. so angry in fact you have no other way to describe it other than yelling this phrase as loud as possible.

wife: "the dishes are dirty, the trash hasn't been taken out, the dogs need to go out, pick up your clothes."

husband: "JESUS GODDAMN FUCKING CHRIST!"

jesus goddamn fucking christ by Moises Buentello December 2, 2010

Jesus Only 

The secret ESRB rating for a game that has been critically acclaimed to be so violent that it's been rated JO, for Jesus Only.

"Hey did you hear that Manhunt 2 got an AO rating?" "Actually, it's been rated JO for Jesus Only, because if you are someone other then Jesus and you play it, then you are most likely to swallow your own head."

Jesus Only by Foof811 July 15, 2010

Jesus Spot 

When you are driving around and you find that golden parking spot that is calling your name, as if Jesus were opening up the heavens to you in an 8'x16' space.

I was trying to find parking at the grocery store, and this jesus spot opened up right next to the entrance. I shouted to the heavens, "Sweet Jesus!" because I didn't have to go on an exodus across the parking lot to get my Depends for Men - my anus was ready to ignite!

Jesus Spot by Two Awesome Persons February 25, 2011

Jesus Take The Wheel 

Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Jesus Take The Wheel !!!!! My burdens are overwhelming and it doesn't seem like I'll ever catch up. I feel the pain of stress, hurt and setbacks. Strengthen me to stand up knowing you are always with me.

Jesus Take The Wheel by Just Me str8 up August 9, 2015

Jesus Pills 

A pill embodiment of Jesus that literally turns water into WINE!!!

Person A: Yo Ben you got that good shit?
Person B: Do you mean them Jesus Pills? That turns water into WINE!!!??
Person A: What else is there brosif?

Jesus Pills by 10/10 spice game October 26, 2018

jesus the bum 

one of the many legendary bums of hoboken, nj. he gets his name from his tall, lanky appearance, and having hair and a beard as long as to resemble jesus christ himself. he is usually found wandering around the palisades (a.k.a the trails) or seen loitering around the mcdonalds on 3rd and washington st. rumours have it that his first name is "bob" and he totally lost it from an overdose of scooby doo acid back in the seventies.

eeyyyoo, you know where jesus the bum at? we want to get some booze from mohammed's.

nah, but i know mark the bum is down by cvs doing his shit

jesus the bum by rickrock May 26, 2008

Jesus Chrysler! 

A humorous exclamation, punfully used to avoid damnation and the like. Auto mechanics tend to use it in situations of frustration. See Geez Louise.

"This Laser has been taken on a joy ride. It's fucked forever.
Jesus Chrysler!

Jesus Chrysler! by Nick Estes July 6, 2006