A typical specimen of John is on the heavier side, and also on the darker side. He shares many similarities with an ape, and he's likely a fiend for bananas. His intelligence leaves much to be desired, but he manages. All Johns have one thing in common: Taylor Swift Fangirling. John is an absolute fiend for Taylor Swift, and will go to any lengths to get his grubby little hands on her music. A typical John outfit is something akin to a jean jacket, with some plain colored shirt, and jeans. John has lofty dreams, and he hopes to one day establish the Fifth Reich. Undoubtedly, John idolizes someone named Adolf. He also smells.
Person 1: "Man, did you catch a whiff of John today?"
Person 2: "Yeah, he smells like a used toilet!"
Person 1: "Man, how John of him."
Person 2: "Yeah, he smells like a used toilet!"
Person 1: "Man, how John of him."
by johnhater123 January 30, 2024
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Johns • Johnny Depp • Johnny • John Cena • john kerry • Johnsons • johnathan • john lennon • John McCain • John Mayer
by I Am Him, no questions asked February 4, 2024
Get the John mug.A middle aged fat guy who spends his days unemployed, getting drunk, and making everyone around him feel awkward. Most likely divorced and his kids act like he doesn’t exist. He is probably single and trying to hit on women at the bar that he will never have a chance with, or remarried to the first loser who settled for him while still doing that. He is always asking friends or family for loans to buy stuff he can’t afford. He is commonly seen wearing a white t shirt at the lake, an oversized watch to keep up the false appearance of a lifestyle he doesn’t have, or driving an oversized truck/SUV he can’t afford. He acts like a corporate big shot and tries to strut around like he owns everything, but can barely make it 20 feet without gasping for dear life. Avoid John and guys like him unless you like losers who mistake their extra body mass for muscle.
“My husband is a dick to the kids, a dick to me, a dick to everyone, but without him I can’t have the house we can’t afford and will have to move back in with my mom.”
“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”
“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”
“I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”
“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”
“I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
by Make feather hat get fat February 5, 2024
Get the John mug.john is a femboy that is very submissive and very breedable. you can preorder from the insta page fish.and.chips.nigga
he comes with a bdsm pack containing dildoes of different sizes and various strapons for you to use. condoms arent includded
he comes with a bdsm pack containing dildoes of different sizes and various strapons for you to use. condoms arent includded
john is delicious
by fishandchipsniggers February 26, 2024
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