wanker

A bloke who constantly lies and believes he can get away with it. The trouble is he can't remember which lie he told you 5 minutes ago. And sits looking over your shoulder pointing out typing errors while you're writing this about him. And he's too stupid to know you're actually writing about him. The wanker.

Wayne (boyfriend).

by Suey September 11, 2003

little wanker

When a midget (Preferrably British) masturbates.

He's so short. He's definitely a little wanker.

by handydan April 23, 2014

wankerchief

Any piece of fabric used to clean up your man mess after a session with the lingere section of the Kays catalogue.

"Ah man, that's rank. I just went into your room to get a CD and stood on your wankerchief!"

by Monkey Handler June 23, 2005

wankermafone

One who is considered a dickhead and practices bizarre behaviours

you god damn wankermafone

by mitch May 13, 2005

wankeroo

like jacking off or wanking, it's basically a waste, as in a waste of time and effort. Doesn't amount to much, it's basically just junk.

Much of the popular music in the fucking PC 90s and afterward, particularly this emo crap simply sounds like and says the same old thing, like "Ewwwwwwwwwww! You fucked me over this way, you fucked me over that way! You ran over my pet hamster with your Radio Flyer wagon when I was 6! Wah! I'm traumatized. Gimme some heroin." Most entertainment today is pure wankeroo because it's so cliche-ridden, formulaic, disposable, cookie cutter, without passion and unoriginal.

by I Saw U2 Live Twice August 29, 2007

Wanker Hands

Dispite sounding offensive the term 'Wanker Hands' is actually a endearing and affectionate phrase commonly used in North West of England to describe someone who has very nice hands.

Me; I see you've got Wanker Hands.
You; Why thank you. I grew them myself.

by the_riveria_kid December 10, 2010

Bloody Wanker

A phrase that Americans think British/Irish people use when in fact no-one in their right mind uses the word bloody and wanker together.

"Bloody" is quite a mild swear word whereas " wanker" is quite harsh.

The two words just don't go together.
Saying " bloody wanker" on the internet screams "I'm an American!"

Them: God you're a bloody wanker!

Me: You're an American aren't you?

by Mrs Pants April 6, 2010