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mega condom

The condom of gods, as they would say. The Mega Condom is a HUGE Condom made for HUGE cocks, bigger than 20 inches long and wide. It originated from Mount Olympus when Zeus accidentally mixed all the elements into a latex condom while having sex and thus created the legendary mega condom. The mega condom vibrates, has a cum-tank, and can warm while sex. Only obtainable through clearing WoW 100% and climbing Mount Olympus to obtain the legendary artifact.
"Man, did you hear about the legendary MEGA CONDOM?! IT'S FUCKING HUUUUUUUUGGGGEEEEEEEEE."
by Memelord (Undertaker) January 20, 2018
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the anal condom enigma

when a gentleman attempting to butt fuck encounters the life long question as to whether the woman would want him to wear a raincoat, or just plain raw dog it.
Last Friday, me and Suzy were getting down to business, then I got totally mindfucked by the anal condom enigma, so she bounced and I had to rub one out so i didn't get blue balls.
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no condom

optimal method of performing sexual act, implies no use of protection, ideally without birth control medecine
I banged this girl 'no condom', j. no c.'d, might be time for the rusty coat-hanger
by Mexicanny August 12, 2006
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Cyber Condom

Name for any type of spam, malware, or virus protection used on computers.

Norton, WindowLiveCare, McAfee, ETC..
Example 1:
Friend #1: Hey, you better make sure you're wearing a cyber condom when you go on that website!

Friend #2: Yeah, you better listen to him, last time I went there I had tons of pop-ups that covered my computer.

Example 2:
Friend #1: Hey go download that song for me, but make sure you have a cyber condom on, I wouldn't want you to get cyber herpes, aka a virus.
by JRanallo July 7, 2011
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quarter condom

The plastic wrapping for rolls of quarters, when found discarded in community laundry facilities they look like old condoms.
That laundry room was so filthy--the floor was covered in odd socks, old dryer sheets and quarter condoms.
by coyotemutt October 28, 2011
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balloon condom

A person whose penis is so small that he has to use a balloon instead of a condom
Can be used as a noun as well as an adjective
"So tell me Jane, how was your date night with Tim last night?"
"Who Tim?! pft... that guy's such a balloon condom! I spent the rest of the night in the restroom with my dildo"
by F-Bomb Thiru May 2, 2017
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shitty condom

A shitty condom is one of three things.

1. A poorly made condom. One that is easy to break.

2. A condom that is covered in faeces after anal sex.

3. A shit filled condom. I'll let you work that one out.
"How was sex with Cindy last night?"

"I had a terrible case of a shitty, shitty, shitty condom. Best. Sex. Ever."
by Lord Dangleballs November 17, 2017
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