Chocolate/Bacon Theory

The Chocolate/Bacon Theory (CBT) states that if you present any food that does not already contain either chocolate or bacon (as this would contradict the Unified Theory of Chocolate and Bacon), its taste will be prominent or non-altered when adding said foods.

Chocolate/Bacon Theory Equation:

f + cb >= f

by Professor Luds December 22, 2008

The Orbit Theory

Researched intensively at a mid-sized public university in 2003, the Orbit Theory was established to explain the symbiotic relationship of when a large, unattractive female associates frequently with several highly attractive females or 'Bettys'. Quite simply, the attractive females have someone to complain to about typical problems, i.e. "Guys are assholes", "I'm ragging hard today", or "My V.D. won't clear up." The asthenically challenged female also provides a 'worst-case scenario' for the buxom women, as they know that life could be much worse if they looked like their dumpy little counterpart. However, the stout little fuggly stands to gain quite valuable aspects by hanging out with the attractive hotties: she may be able to see more suitable men, gain confidence by having smoking hotties as friends, be invited to fancier shindigs and box-socials, and become a BJ Queen for the men which cannot achieve coitus with said hotties. The mutual benefit for both parties is similar to celestial bodies which use their gravitational pull to prevent smaller moons from wondering into space...hence "Orbit" Theory; one large body benefiting from several smaller bodies surrounding itself and maintaining a gravitational pull in its orbit.

Four strikingly attractive women enter a local pub, in search of alcoholic beverages. Suddenly, at the end of the Betty trail is a stout female, no taller than 5'5" and a tanned face eerily similar to that of a tanned Pillsbury Doughboy. The last female entering the bar would complete the "Orbit Theory" equation: 3 or > #(Hotties)+1(Oompa Loompa or 'M&M')= The Orbit Theory

by 4 Amendment Rights March 3, 2009

Crazy Pussy Theory

The Crazy Pussy/Coochie/Cooch/Cooter Theory: The experience intensity is directly correlated her craziness. Also known as the Bear Trap Theory (don't stick things in Bear Traps).

That girl is a walking example of the crazy pussy theory, now she's stalking me, she burned my car to a crisp yesterday. But it's so good that I have to see her again tonight.

by Urban Decider March 9, 2013

The 90% Theory

1.(n) -The non-scientific theory that the presence or lack of a characteristic in a population can be divided along 90% to 10% lines.

1)90% of people are morons
2)only 10% of life is worth living
3)90% of people who post on this site are complete and utter retards
4)Only 10% of people are worth knowing
5)Only 10% of people give a fuck about the societies they live in
6)90% of women aren't attractive. same for guys.
7)10% of the population uses 90% of our resources
8)there's a 90% chance someone will find something in this offensive

by Damoclese July 22, 2004

The Grace Period Theory

The first 3-4 months of a relationship. Everything seems to be "perfect"- no problems, no arguments, and sex is a common thing. If The Grace Period was a smell, it would smell like roses. Once The Grace Period is over the person you once loved changes into the person you will soon hate. Sex becomes a thing of the past, conversing is replaced by arguing, hugging and kissing is replaced by slapping and pushing, and your relationship turns into a jail sentence. You ask yourself, "How did I get myself into this mess". Looking at your partner becomes as hard as listening to Nickelback. Your social life is non-existant, either because all of your friends hate who your partner has become or they can't stand the person your partner has turned you into. Once The Grace Period is over, it's only a matter of time before your relationship is as well. Only a few are lucky enough to maintain a successful relationship after The Grace Period has concluded.

Couple during The Grace Period Theory:

Male- "Hey babe! What do you want to do tonight?"
Female- "As long as I'm with you; nothing else matters"

*Male starts to smile intensely*
Male- "I love you"
*Female drops to her knees and unzips his pants*

Couple after Grace Period:

Male- *sighs* "What do you want to do tonight"
Female- "First of all, I'm the woman! You're suppose to decide what we're doing and where we're going! Secondly, it better be somewhere nice! I endured that cheap bull a few months ago but not anymore!"
Male- "Forget this! You shouldn't tell me what to do! I'm your boyfriend not your employee!"
Female- "Shut up and make me a sammich"

Couple after the relationship:

Female- "I can't believe I ever loved that loser, he didn't even make that much! God damn community college student"
Girl friends reply- "Yeah, girl- we told you from the start that he was a loser"

Male friends- "We told you, bro. She was ugly and a bitch"
Male- "Yeah, I know... But I kind of miss her..."

by DBAD101 August 30, 2011

Parking Lot Theory

"Women are like parking spaces: The good ones are always taken."

The theory that when unsure of whether or not a woman is single, that the likelihood of her being taken is directly correlated to how desirable she is.

Guy 1: I'm pretty interested in her but I'm not sure if she's seeing someone already.
Guy 2: A girl like her? Parking Lot Theory says you're too late.

by icaruswings September 8, 2004

Pringles Theory

Named after the Pringles slogan, "Once you pop, you can't stop," this theory says that the longer someone waits to lose their virginity, the more they actively seek sexual activity once they do lose their virginity. The term "Pringles Theory" was first used by Michael LaFerney in a paper to describe this phenomenon commonly occuring in undergraduate students.

She didn't first have sex until she was twenty-five, but because of the Pringles Theory, once she lost her virginity she started sleeping around like crazy.

by MikeHawire April 15, 2005