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Fecal Scale

The official scale of fecal size and weight.

Piss Load
- The smallest amount. Equivalent to the size of a piss sample for a piss test. It requires 1 nurse telling you to piss in a cup to make a Piss Load

Piss Ton
- A very small/small amount. It requires 2 Piss Loads to make a Piss Ton.

Crap Load
- This is a small amount. It requires 4 Piss Tons to make a Crap Load

Crap Ton
- This is a small/medium amount. It requires 3 Crap Loads to make a Crap Ton.

Shit Load
- The Shit Load is one of the most often used terms and a very common amount. Often referred to as "a load of shit". It requires 2 Crap Tons to make a Shit Load.

Shit Ton
- This is the maximum amount of shit you can express in one sentence. It requires 3 Shit Loads to make a Shit Ton.

Fuck Load
- The source of the size "Large". It requires 2 Shit Tons to make a Fuck Load

Fuck Ton
- The ultimate of the fecal scale. It takes 3 Fuck Loads to equal a Fuck Ton.

*CAUTION* It is illegal to include two Fuck Tons in the same scenario, the amount of mass created would collapse into itself and create a black hole and swallow the planet, and possibly the galaxy. *CAUTION*
"Brian - JORDAN, THAT IS NOT SAFE, YOU ALREADY HAVE 1 FUCK TON, 2 FUCK LOADS AND A SHIT TON!! STOP BEFORE WE ALL DIE!!

Jordan - JUST ONE MORE CRAP LOAD!! ACCORDING TO THE FECAL SCALE IT IS SAFE!!"
by BrianJoeysDad December 29, 2008
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cleopatra facial

Cleopatra facial - a sex act whereby a participant will find themself (Cleopatra) being ejaculated on by a large group while wearing gold. The group is so large to the point that Cleopatra has to cover her eyes to avoid semen entering their eyes.
"I heard that at Chad's party, Jessica got Cleopatra facial-ed by the whole football team"
by MuffDiver420 February 7, 2018
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facial

when someone cums all over your fuckin face
Trent pulls out his dick and cums all over Abigail's face
by Sarah Trent ya Wack June 17, 2004
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Fecal-Particulate-Olfactory-Simulation

Fecal Particulate Olfactory Simulation, or FPOS, is the process through which one is able to experience a fart.
I was on an escalator and was downwind of someone letting one rip.. it was the worst FPOS ever... I couldn't escape it.
by Yokes April 7, 2005
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fecal gram

When one deficates in a small box. then packages it up real nice, gift wraps it and sends it on its way to ones house with no return address.
Dude Charlie left me an upper decker so I mailed him a Fecal Gram
by Edgemin September 3, 2006
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transneural fecalization

The process by which a persons brain becomes shit.
This bud is so good it produces spontaneus trans neural fecalization.
by KGz November 2, 2003
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Bovine Fecal Material

Bovine = of or relating to cattle
fecal material = feces (poo)

BULL SHIT!!!
by the god of bio will smite you! January 21, 2010
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