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Jesus Talk

A term to describe gossip.
"So much shit went down this weekend! I have soo much Jesus Talk!!"
by slothman81690 March 13, 2008
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JESUS SUFFERIN FUCK!

A scottish made swear for a accident or a suprisied word or to alert of a sudden pain.
Billy - (walks into door) JESUS SUFFERIN FUCK!
by KARL thorne December 18, 2008
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all Jesus

1. All Jesus is a term referring to the positivity of a situation, despite a negative outlook.
Man 1:" Hey, looks like your tires went flat."
Man 2:" It's All Jesus though. Now I have an excuse to miss work."
by JoJaun Hunter June 16, 2006
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1. Possibly the most extreme, blasphomous term to use when one is surprised and/or outraged in the english language.
2. Used as a term to say something random but incomprehensible for a few seconds to the person the term is directed to.
Situation 1:

Somone busts into a room with an AK-47 and shoots the person right next to you.

Your response: Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ!

Situation 2:

Johnny: Sooooo...
Mike: hmm....
Chris: yeah...
Dalton: JESUS FUCKING MARY DOGGYSYLE CHRIST!
Johnny: wtf happened?
Mike: oh my stars
Chris: lollerpops
by MrDinkleberry November 21, 2005
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Jesus Christ on a Coke Binge

A variation of the commonly used Jesus Christ. It carries the same meaning as Jesus Christ.
by Jolly Judd January 29, 2009
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Jesus Christmas

This combination of words refers to a moment in time when you are suddenly overwhelmed, hurt, in disbelief, or just plain in the Christmas spirit. It can replace several profane words to create a tasteful way of expressing your feelings.
"Jesus Christmas, Jeff just threw up all over that chick!!"
"I think I broke my pinky toe... Jesus Christmas!!"
"Jesus Christmas that's a big present under that there tree Uncle Bernard!!"
by KricklesCG February 16, 2009
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Jaundiced Jesus

1) Non-elected leader of a small group of sluttish "disciples", sharing a mutual love of orange-hued foundation, tight white miniskirts, hair wrecked by straightener over-use/discoloured hair extensions, and the obligatory bag of chips. Ususally seen shouting abuse at goths and mettlas in Staines high street/ old ladies in Romford.

2)Non-elected leader of a small group of sluttish "disciples", sharing a mutual love of orange-hued foundation, tight white miniskirts, hair wrecked by straightener over-use/discoloured hair extensions, but also hailing from a home counties convent school and sporting a public school boyfriend. Distinguished from (1) primarily in the amount of money they spend on looking cheap.
1- ran into that jaundiced jesus and her crew bottling some girl outside Staines KFC. The heady scent of Charlie bodyspray and second hand fag smoke was quite overwhelming.

2 - I hear jaundiced jesus is getting one of her manwhores to take her to ibiza on his yacht. I wonder what cup size she'll come back as?
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