turd burglar

One who burgles turds

My cat took a crap and the dog ate it...he sure is a turd burglar

by baldylocks1976 January 29, 2005

turd hustling

A person who scavenges truck stop restrooms for left over dumps in hopes of finding lost treasure. examples: peanuts, corn, gum, hairballs, drug filled condoms

Matt was disappointed when his turd hustling expedition at the neighborhood Stuckys left him empty handed.

by AdaMeaux March 1, 2009

miracle turd

when you unload a turd from your asshole and the turd is so perfect that it comes out of your cheeks so elegantly that you do not have to wipe. it is so simple yet elegant.

oh my god i was at KFC and i totally just released a miracle turd

by CHICKYDUDE December 17, 2009

turd laces

A very thin in diameter, unsatisfying dumpski. Usually preceded and followed by multiple farts.

Dude, I sat down to drop a deuce, but all I got were turd laces.

by Big Daddy Steve August 15, 2007

Turd Bomb

When you keep a picture of a turd you have taken or downloaded on your phone in order to bring up when someone sitting next to you in any event or location is looking at what you are doing on your phone. It's a shocking reminder that they should not be snooping, and they should mind their own business.

"Oh that's a picture of a Shit I took this morning... You've just been TURD BOMB(ED) i thought since you where so interested in what I was doing on my phone you would be happy to know that I am also regular

by Louie!!!!! August 19, 2013

Turd Courier

A person who carriers a human shit through customs in his or her suitcase.

The shit is produced at the end of the victims 18-30 holiday as he or she prepares to fly home. The turd is placed into another tourist's packed suitcase (in a plastic bag or dropped directly) without their prior knowledge. The suitcase is then be zipped back up and nothing more will be said by the perpetrator until the unsuspecting victim has reclaimed their luggage and left for the airport.

"That bitch has fucked me up on this holiday - she's going to be my turd courier."

by nomercy82 October 4, 2011

turd texting

Texting on your cell while taking a dump.

David is the ultimate multi-tasker as he is an expert at turd texting.

Mother: "What's going on in there? Other peeps need to use the bathroom!"

David: "Dude, give me some privacy! I'm turd texting!"

by LouWho December 9, 2008