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Profuse Masturbation

A common term for excessive masturbation in one sitting, resulting in the penis becoming thickly calloused and shaped like a half used colgate tube. The activity is also used as a motivational/teamwork exercise in some lines of work... i.e. Computer programming and I.T.
-"Hey man, did you go to the seminar yesterday on profuse masturbation?"
-"I couldn't make it in to the office, so I just set up a laptop and used the WiFi in Starbucks."
by Sandy Highman, PHD. July 1, 2011
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masturbation

Gods Gift for those who are ugly and never get laid to jerk off their desires
god:oh this ugly guy needs some pleasure let me create a tool
called masturbation to make him pleasure himself and feel what
it will be like to have sex
by chin345 December 4, 2007
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masturbation

When a chick is sooo bad at the art of fucking that it's like masturbating while working out abs.
This intriguing phenomenon may also occur if she looks like a fish and smells like one too!
Me: Shit man! That cunt faced bitch was such a gimp! Felt like masturbation last night!

My friend: Duude! Kill her I say!
by Ultra-Ex August 5, 2008
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Masturbation

A sin that offends God
My son had masturbation today and now he worries me because he offended Jesus Christ My God.
by Ghosthunter7444 July 26, 2016
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insult masturbation

a self-inflicted diss
Jack: I'm ugly
Jill: My jokes aren't funny
Oscar: Stop with the insult masturbation, you two!
by yomommaisallama September 21, 2011
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daily masturbational

Daily masturbational, means, fulfilling the i.e. religious, or spiritual quota of the act of self pleasuring. On a daily basis.
Gotta go Gus.

Wait! Where are you going?!

I gotta fulfill my daily masturbational with Father Zed.

Good luck with that.

Thanks Gus, I will.

You will what...?
by ESPeciallyscientific November 4, 2018
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Intellectual Masturbation

How to do intellectual masturbation:
1. Idolize theory, even though reality doesn't necessary go along with the theory
2. Find people who are agreed with your point of view (groupthink, filter bubble, echo chamber), and shut down any competing point of view
3. Nurture a superiority complex, that you're an Übermensch, you're far more intellectual than 99.9999999999…% hoo-mans around the world, and dwell inside your ivory tower instead of helping people out from their problems
4. Use any unnecessary words, terms, jargons, acronyms, backronyms, or any language styles that makes you sound intellectual (even though nobody asked)
5. Interrupt and change any discussion topic to become something intellectual when nobody asked
6. Justify unnecessary paywall for accessing knowledge
7. Put other's feet on your own shoes (a.k.a give them unsolicited advices based on your understanding and experiences, ignoring other's experiences)
8. Read any books that makes you look intellectual, even though you don't understand what do you read, and quote it every time you discussing, even though you don't know what are you talking about
by Sir. B April 9, 2021
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